I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
