Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
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