if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize
