my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
