I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
