OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize