I must be too annoying 4 u.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
