In the future we'll all be gay
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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