Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Randomize
