I will die if light touches me.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
