omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
