i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
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