Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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