I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize