Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
