Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
