just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
