there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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