is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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