he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize