the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Randomize
