If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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