Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
