if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize
