im so drunk with asians
where?
always
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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