we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
