its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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