found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
