I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
