Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
