My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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