Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
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