So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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