yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize
