He is such a slut. More and more my type.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Just high enough for therapy.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
