I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
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