I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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