So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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