The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
