Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
