its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize