The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
