Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
We smell like vodka and hangover
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