Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize