He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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