I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
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