tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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