the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
