Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
her facebook's as public as her vagina
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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