i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
