I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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