Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Randomize