well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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