If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
