just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
