Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
