we're blogging at a bar
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize
