I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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