..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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