I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Randomize
