marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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