loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
