Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Randomize
