So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Randomize
