guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
