Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
