just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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