best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
