All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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