all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
