Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
