Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Randomize
