We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
No subtext here. People are naked.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
