Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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