; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
