but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I'm like, not good at living.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
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