Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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