OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
