I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Randomize
