Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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