Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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