Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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