You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
