well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
