Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
